Translations
by Bokormen
Summary: Don is having problems understanding the witness statements, can Danny help him? Short oneshot, just for fun. Set before Danny and Lindsey got together.


Disclaimer: Do not own any of the characters.

AN: English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes I have made. I also want you to know that I am not in the military and all slang in here is from wikipedia and similar pages, so I can not guarantee that it is correct. I know that any marine/navy case goes to NCIS, but this is fanfiction and it doesn't need to be completely authentic does it? Anyway, I just got this image in my head of Flack interviewing Marines and them having fun by using a lot of slang. But what use did all the slang have if nobody understood what it meant? That's where Danny comes in. Hope you like it!

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«Seriously!» Don Flack exclaimed as he half fell into a chair in the break room. «Those guys should come with a translator!»

«What guys?» Danny Messer, the only other person on the room, asked amused.

«Those Marines! Some of it I get, like galley, brig and clusterfuck. But the bus driver on the bird farm? Chinese field day? Scuttlebutt? He didn't huss? And what does an airdale terrier have to do with anything?» Don asked exasperated flickering trough his notepad not really expecting an answer.

«Sounds like you've got some bum scoop.» Danny laughed. «And did they really say it was a terrier? Sure it wasn't just 'airdale'?» he continued much to his best friend's surprise.

«Your right. No mention of an actual terrier. Wait... Don't tell me that you understood what I just said!?» Don stared at the CSI in shock.

«I'll have you know that my G-2 is quite high. Say what, you promise to give me some poguey bait or some cumshaw and I'll huss you with the dope.»

«Huh?» Don couldn't stop the unintelligent reply, but he hadn't understood a word his friend had just said.

«I know you are a chowhound, but I think you can mange to spare some geedunk or just buy me a joe. We'll just gung ho and sort trough the gouge.» Danny had planned to go on for a while longer, but the expression on the detective's face had him cracking up.

«Mind saying that in English?» Don asked a little irritated.

«I'll help in exchange for a cup of coffee or some food later on.» Danny finally managed to tell him and dried away a few tears. «What do you have?»

«All the ones previously mentioned. A few of the ones you used and then some.» Don sighted.

Danny thought back to the beginning of their conversation and mentally walked trough it and listed what he needed to 'translate'. «A bus driver is an Air Force pilot and the bird farm is an aircraft carrier. Chinese field day is when all items are removed from the barracks for cleaning. And you should probably know that there is a lot of scuttlebutt going on here. About Mac and Stella, you and me, me and Mac, you and Stella, me and Montana...»

«Why don't you just move back to topic before I have to get up and kick your ass?» Don interrupted from the chair he was sitting in, quickly writing down Danny's explanations.

«Gossip.» Danny grinned. «Scuttlebutt is gossip.» That made Don look up.

«People are gossiping about you and me? Mac and Stella I get, but you and me?»

«Don't you know? We are having a hot and passionate affair. Everybody knows that! Okay back to topic. Where was I? Oh yeah, huss. To huss means to give a helping hand. And your terrier is a person who works in aviation. Which one of the ones I used do you need?»

«Why don't you just give me them all... In case I need to talk with those Marines again.» Don looked horrified by the thought.

«Bum scoop is bad information. G-2 is an individual's intellect. Poguey bait and geedunk are food or sweets. Cumshaw is something extra or something free. Dope and gouge are information. Joe is coffee and gung ho mean work together. Did I miss something?» Danny quickly rattled off.

«Yeah you did. You called me a chowhound.» Don stared at his friend.

«I did, didn't I? Damn I had hoped you would forget that. Sure you want to know?» Danny teased his friend. «Okay, okay.» He lifted his hands in surrender. «A chowhound is a person who eats a great deal or expends much effort and anticipation in daily meals.»

Don could feel that he relaxed a little. With all the fuss Danny had been making he had been a little afraid that he might need to kick his best friend's ass when they got of duty, but that hadn't been much of an insult. «Okay. I've got a few more if you don't mind. I guess a doggie isn't a puppy or a even an animal?»

«Not if you are a member of the US Marine Corps. A doggie is an enlisted member of the US Army.»

«Blanket party? Something tells me that it isn't our normal sleepover.»

«It's a group assault on a service member, repeatedly striking him or her, while covering the victims head with a blanket.» Danny explained the term.

«APC?»

«All-purpose Capsule. Mostly gone now, but they used to contain aspirin, phenacetin and caffeine.»

«BCD?»

«A Big Chicken Dinner. Or put it so you understand it. A bad conduct discharge.»

«A hat is not something you wear on your head is it?» Don sighted. How the hell did Danny know all this?

«I seriously hope not!» Danny grinned. «A hat is a drill instructor. An acting jack is an assistant drill instructor.»

«Civ div?»

«Civilian life after leaving service.»

«A shit brick?»

«A useless or ignorant person.»

«Zoomie?»

«Same as a bus driver. An Air Force Pilot.»

«Gomer?»

«A stupid person.»

«Brig rat and chaser?»

«An habitual offender and escort or detail for prisoners.»

«Thank you Danny. Your an life saver.»

«Self preservation. I am not risking Mac getting tight jawed.»

«Angry. I got that one.»

«Just something you should remember. Mac is not a Marine, he is a Devil Dog. Personally I am Navy.» Danny grinned.

«Okay I give. What does that mean?»

«Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Non-Essential and Never Again Volunteer Yourself.» Mac commented as he walked into the room, startling the homicide detective that had had his back to him. «So what have you got for me Flack?» he asked as he made his way over to the coffee maker.

«Don't want to boondoggle so I better get back to work. See ya later!» Danny excused himself and quickly disappeared.

«You know where Danny know so much about military slang from?» Don asked fully knowing that Mac knew he had used Danny to get his interview translated.

«I learned a long time a go to just smile and nod when it came to Danny. Now what did you get out of my fellow devil dogs?» Mac smiled.

«The majority of the ones I spoke to....»

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Hope you enjoyed it!


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